i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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