Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink

(313): View more from Michigan

Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver

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(863): View more from Florida

I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy

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(786): View more from Florida

I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.

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(906): View more from Michigan

It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again

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(410): View more from Maryland

They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

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(650): View more from California

There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time

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(856): View more from New Jersey

You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me

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