He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
