We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
