so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
