Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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