I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
