is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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