Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
