it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
