There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
