someone get that fucking seahorse.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
