I forgot how hot balto sounded
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
