this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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