I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
