So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Blood and glitter go together right?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
