I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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