She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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