I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
