We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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