I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
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