If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
