I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
