yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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