So drunk, too bad you don't want this
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
