I must be too annoying 4 u.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
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