She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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