He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
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