Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Let's get the cat blown out
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
