guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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