They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
