Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
