Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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