it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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