I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
