hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
