with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
