D3 body, D1 cock
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
