another moral hangover. fuck.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Bring me that man meat
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
