y did u give ur computer a hand job?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
