and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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