you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
