Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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