he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
