Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my shit smells like andre
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
