this boner is exhausting
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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