Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
