Who did Billy Mays play for?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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