epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
