I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
