Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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