Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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