How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
