it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
