At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
